Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
operation have a gay friend backfired
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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