I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
