I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
our cab driver is having phone sex.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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