Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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