we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
