I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize