he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He better not be in your backpack
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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