omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
