I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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