Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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