We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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