Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
