I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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