I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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