i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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