I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Randomize
