I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
