I need help removing her.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
