tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
