Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
