when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My vagina is officially offended.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
