this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
