there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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