kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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