Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
