Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
