The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
