that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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