Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
