he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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