Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize