So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
