You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Everyone says I win the strip club
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
