So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
