What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
