I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
