I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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