now i know why i became what i already was.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you win again, gameday.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize