UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
where am i from again
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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