Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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