what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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