Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
