just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
