Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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