it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
