girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Holy shit dude........stairs
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
