Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
God gave him joint rollers for hands
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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