Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
