You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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