Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
everyone is single if you try hard enough
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
