i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
