We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
