no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
