can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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