I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize