Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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