I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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